This Loser Is Making a Comeback

I don’t ever remember feeling like a failure at work. I was a winner, an entrepreneur, an innovator. I wasn’t always great at life, but at work, that’s where I always shone bright.

In my personal life, I’ve made some very questionable choices that have blown up in my face, but I could always count on work to get me through. Work and personal life have always been very separate for me.

Working with tech has always brought me joy, but it also requires constant learning to keep up and compete with clever people for technically difficult projects. There’s no day when I’m not doing some sort of learning to stay sharp.

Until early 2020, I worked 7 days a week; my team was global, my life was global. It was hectic AF and stressful, but I loved it. I have always been dependable and hardworking, but my business choices weren’t without personal sacrifice.

Since my business is now just me, myself, and I, I handle all those extra jobs I don’t like. I miss working in a team and collaborating with other sharp minds, who kept me on my toes.

Before I started building the South Coast Women platform, the idea was met with overwhelmingly positive feedback.  It was really exciting🎉

It was really exciting. I thought I had found my next thing, but it was daunting as it had a personal element to it.

I thought I had genuine support, so I allowed myself to be a little reckless: I got obsessed with the tech, focused on the platform, and took my eye off the web developer work that pays my bills and feeds me.

The Cost of the Risk

I live alone and have been self-employed for over 25 years, so the risk was massive. If I don’t earn, I don’t eat; it’s that simple. But I was so sure it was going to work. 😁

Local business people showed immense support and enthusiasm before the launch. People said they were ‘in’. They promised to join the platform, post activities, and tell their friends, as this idea was so great, they just wanted to see it succeed.

But then… nothing.

When the platform launched to crickets, I started to feel like a massive loser, an unpopular fool who had poured her heart into something no one actually wanted. 

🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

I talked myself around with ‘people are busy’ and ‘they’ll do it when they can’, but after a month of nothing, I started to resent myself.

I stopped going to the gym, and I stopped leaving the house. I was so embarrassed by my failure, I felt nobody liked me, and I never wanted to show my face in public again. 

I started 2025 feeling positive, but personally, things just went to absolute rubbish.

In July, I lost two of my closest friends in a matter of days. I was so wrapped up in my own depression and sadness over my failed platform, I wasn’t there when I should have been.

I have never felt more lonely than I have since launching South Coast Women.

And that’s the kicker: I created South Coast Women for women who feel the exact way I was feeling, isolated, alone, and struggling with life.

It’s been confusing and soul-crushing when the people I thought I could count on weren’t interested in doing a damn thing, not even bothering to fill out their profile. 🤯

It really got to me; it got me down and depressed, but I couldn’t seem to pull myself out of it.

You can only live so long before you run out of cash, though, so I knew I had to do something or I would lose my home and end up a miserable statistic. 

Breaking the Silence

Someone mentioned Beyond Blue, and I was able to get into a program called New Access. 

Within a month, I had started to promote my services and got a couple of small jobs in, but I wasn’t able to look at South Coast Women, as it just makes me feel terrible.

Last weekend, my friend Fern asked me if I wanted to do the Jervis Bay Arts Trail. I had never heard of it, but I like art, so I said yes.

I was shocked by how few people knew about it and how few people were actually showing up. We were the first people to show up for one of the artists, and it was the end of the day! There were established artists who were paid to do commissions and had work featured in galleries all over the country, yet people hadn’t shown up.

We had a great time, but it got me thinking maybe it’s not me?

Maybe it’s not just me being a massive loser who can’t build a community. Maybe this area is just disconnected. 

Maybe there are heaps of amazing things happening on the South Coast, run by brilliant people, and we just haven’t figured out how to connect the dots between the event and the women who need them.

My Comeback

I’m working on my comeback as I still believe in this community.

I’m learning to be vulnerable, and this post is a big part of that. 

I want to prove that the South Coast isn’t just full of “great ideas” and isolated people, but great action and genuine connection. 

I’m putting myself out there again, wish me luck 🙂

Lara xoxo